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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23330689">Bye, Derek</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/kara8899/pseuds/kara8899'>kara8899</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Criminal Minds (US TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 06:07:59</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>678</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23330689</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/kara8899/pseuds/kara8899</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Spencer had a secret. One that he was too afraid to share. And when he was ready to it was too late... much too late.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Spencer Reid/Derek Morgan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>70</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Bye, Derek</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is not my first fic but it is the first one I’m posting on this platform, let alone posting at all. I’ve never posted any of my fan fictions that I’ve written but I felt like, sure, why not? I hope you enjoy it and that it’s not too sad for you at the end:(</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As soon as Spencer heard the shot he was panicking. His brain seemed to have shut off as he turned on autopilot and sprinted towards the noise. He knew before he'd gotten there that it was a death trap. He'd begged and pleaded with the team not to let them do it. Almost losing it at Hotch as he tried to reason with them. "It won't work! It's a death trap. Trust me, one of us won't be going home tonight if we do this! Please!" But they told him multiple times; there was no other way. And he knew there was no other way. It was either one member of the team or half of downtown Detroit. And of course, the one to be heroic was Spencer's greatest worry. <br/>          When he'd gotten to the scene, Spencer was well aware of what he'd see. And the vision in his mind was almost identical to the one in front of him. Which made it worse. So he turned and ran in the opposite direction. He got far enough that he couldn't be seen by the team or the bomb squad. Not even by S.W.A.T. Spencer threw his fists against a brick building and screamed; it sounded painfully half-hearted and broken. <br/>          And just like that Spencer was hyperventilating, he couldn't get enough air into his lungs fast enough to slow down. The sobs that wracked his slight frame were not helping either, in fact, they were doing the opposite. His head swam and his lungs burned. The tears that were pouring down his face stung and made it hard to see. Spencer was shaking like a leaf and freezing cold. <br/>           "Sitting in the rain does have that effect on people." He thought bitterly. <br/>          The sheer terror of what he had just witnessed with his own two eyes was too much for him to handle. Spencer wanted to die, to throw up, to pound his fists into the ground and scream at whoever made that last choice. Whoever decided that was a good plan. <br/>          But he knew who it was, he knew and he still loved them. Spencer could never blame them. Even after what they'd done, Spencer just couldn't help himself. Which was why he was having a full-blown mental breakdown and panic attack at the same time. It was because he was gone. He was gone. And there was no hope for Spencer anymore. None that he could see, anyways. <br/>            Someone touched him, tearing him from the shock and existential crisis he was in the midst of. It was Hotch, Spencer was sure of it. Well, sure as one could be in the middle of a mental breakdown. <br/>          "Spencer! Spencer, I know it hurts but you need to breathe, please just breathe." Aaron's voice trembled slightly. Hearing that made him internally wince. He needed to be the rock for the team; they needed him just as much as he needed them. After this was all over they needed each other. He knew they wouldn't be able to handle it if they didn't stay together. <br/>          His hands were on Spencer's shoulders, stabilizing the kid. Keeping him out of his mind; it was the last place boy genius needed to be right now. Hotch knew he should give Spencer space rather than crowd him during a panic attack like this but just couldn't bring himself to let go of Spencer's shoulders. After all, Spencer needed him. And he would be there for as long as it took Spencer to be okay again.<br/>          Spencer screamed again, tears mixing with the rain pouring down. "Why, Hotch? Why the FUCK DOES HE ALWAYS HAVE TO BE THE FUCKING HERO!?" Spencer yelled. "Why couldn't he have just let me do it?! Why?" Spencer's voice grew quiet and he stopped. <br/>          It was then that a realization hit Aaron. It was so clear and blatantly obvious that he was amazed that he hadn't realized earlier. Spencer was in love with Derek Morgan. And Derek had no idea because Spencer never told him. </p><p> The end</p>
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